Total Medals Earned: 87 (From 19 different games.) Total Medal Score: 1,395 Points
Medals Earned: 1/4 (5/40 points)
But will she love me now that I can see at all?
You might earn this for winning her affection.
That should have been obvious from the start.
Unlock this medal to learn its secrets!
Medals Earned: 4/8 (105/290 points)
Reach chaos for the first time
Buy the Atomic Bomb
Purchase the turret upgrade before the 8th day.
Cause enough chaos to reach the x5 Multiplier
Purchase all of the store upgrades.
Save up $30,000 in earnings.
Beat the game before reaching the 20th Day
Medals Earned: 5/13 (40/350 points)
I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION
Lose against any team
Medals Earned: 3/7 (25/300 points)
Recover some strength
Become a full human
Get your legs back
Grow small wings
Become the beast
Complete the game in 15 minutes or less
Restore the fountain's flow
Medals Earned: 10/22 (190/500 points)
Conquer the first base.
Find the blue backpack.
Find the green backpack.
Conquer the second base.
Find the orange backpack.
Find the red backpack.
Find the sky blue backpack.
Conquer the third base.
Find the black backpack.
Find the gray backpack.
Find the pink backpack.
Find the purple backpack.
Find the white backpack.
Find the yellow backpack.
Conquer the fourth base.
Conquer the sixth base.
Conquer the fifth base.
Conquer the seventh base.
Find all 11 backpacks.
Reach General rank.
Medals Earned: 5/14 (50/400 points)
Beat the shit outa the A.T.P. agent with your axe.
Rip the first dude's head off.
Perform The Beast's signature smiley fatality.
Beat the shit outa your axe with the A.T.P. agent.
Shotgun rape the first guy.
Medals Earned: 2/5 (15/115 points)
Kill 20 enemies
Kill the first boss
Complete the game
Kill the 3rd Boss
Obtain 20 stars
Medals Earned: 1/9 (10/270 points)
get to lvl 9
Get the bad ending
get to level 28
vote on 3 maps
get to level 22
Vote on 33 maps
beat an explore campaign
Get the good ending
Vote on 333 maps
Medals Earned: 19/20 (450/500 points)
Get skewered on spikes
Launch the Turtle
Smash a goomba
Launch 1 mile (5,280ft)
Find the hidden button
Launch 5 miles (26,400ft)
Blow up a jeep
Crush an angry ground creature
Reach space
Get punched by a banana
Get caught by a UFO
Get burned by a sun
Play over an hour
Launch 10 miles (52,800ft)
Use a nuke
Play over 2 hours
Launch 25 miles (132,000ft)
Total over 1 million feet
Launch 50 miles (264,000ft)
Buy everything